Pitch Feedback
11:46
After pitching our idea we received some feedback which is listed below:
- Cut out someone typing (might be distracting and break tension)
- need hook, reel, catch
- Need world building moment, and three separate acts
- Need a resolution in mid - like potential saviour
- Look at gamer movie - use it for plot arc
- Mad skirmish to begin,
- Looks more like a tv show if you give too much information
- Have the opening as the video game, so you don’t see the killer- don't see the real world until the end, or not even revealing the hacker
- Make the battle more like a game- like tea bagging, or a character walking into a wall or using npcs to convey that the battle is within a game
- Need action sequence to start
- Someone gets hurt in battle, but actually hurts the player in real life, not revealing so much in the opening sequence.
- Some players when they get shot don't actually get hurt, but our main character (MC) gets a shot and it actually hurts him: “how did this happen” etc
- If revealing hacker, show him at the end
- Needs more ambiguity - more mystery, more like an opening
- 3 v 3 battle (more characters)
- Friends playing a game together
- Friends not reacting to getting shot “like wait for me to heal”
- One friend “ow that actually hurts, jesus”
- Show in the game him taking off something from his face
- Cut to real life, blood pouring out of the MC
- Show one character get killed, and then respond and take back weapon from old body.
- Sequence, going from cover to cover, until bomb goes off. One friend gets up and keeps going, realises other guy is not there, goes to him, very hurt etc, cant speak/winded, coughing up blood AND THEN
- VR COMES OFF
- Last 10 seconds is the VR coming off
- Body gag, eg players taking back old weapons
GET RID OF HACKER
Make sure that intro is ONLY ACT ONE, and not 1+2+3
